A doula is support person who does not perform any type of medical role but instead offer many other methods of support for both you and your partner during pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Here are just a few ways a doula can help where your partner and medical carer usually can’t.
1. Be there. Your doula is employed to be there whenever you need during labor.
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Your partner may have to go out and move the car, grab food or duck in to work. Your midwife or doctor probably has half a dozen other women in labor to attend to, especially if you’re experiencing a long labor or induction.
After birth, your partner may need to go with the baby if there are any issues, but your doula can stay with you during the delivery of the placenta, any stitches you need and help with walking, showering or getting dressed.
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2. Use a range of techniques to naturally ease labor pain.
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Your medical carers can provide a range of pharmaceutical pain relief options and some basic advice on dealing with the pain naturally. Your doula, on the other hand, can help with advice on dealing with the side effects of an epidural or other medical pain relief (such as nausea or discomfort) as well as dealing with the pain without drugs. Check out this list of 45 natural pain relief options for labor – these are just some of the tricks that your doula will have to help you through!
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3. Care for your partner.
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Sometimes, all you want is to have your partner there and everyone else out of the way. That’s fine and your doula is trained to step back and give you two time alone. Your doula can also make sure that your partner gets enough to eat and drink, give advice on ways your partner can help (including when to stop talking, ways to help you relax or good massage points).
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4. Run errands and chase up items.
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If you want your doula with you, she’ll stay. If you need something done, she’ll go. Whether you left your bag in the car, need a snack from the canteen or want to let the nurses know that you need something, she’s there to help.
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5. Tell your partner that everything’s ok.
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Men have a built in instinct to protect their loved ones and no matter how much they know about labor, seeing their partner in pain can be hard for men to deal with. Especially during the end of labor, many women use different methods to vocalise, start to shake, throw up and lose normal amounts of blood and mucus. While your medical care providers concentrate on mother and baby, your doula can make sure your partner is aware that you’re fine and let him know what’s going on.
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6. Show your partner how to be more involved.
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Most men want to help by touching or talking. Sure, these things can help, but sometimes you’ll want no one near you and complete silence! Your doula can help your partner watch for the signs that they can help, show them how to coach you with breathing and eye contact and also areas he can touch to help relax tensed muscles.
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7. Provide a neutral third person.
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When you’re in labor, you and your partner may want to take any option available to get the process over as painlessly and as fast as possible. Sometimes this can mean making decisions which you later realise didn’t help as much as you’d hoped. Your doula can quietly ask the right questions and give the right information so you know when to ask your medical carer for more time to make a decision.
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8. Interpret medical jargon.
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“Baby’s at station 2, start pit and prepare for AROM.”
It’s hard enough to interpret medical jargon when you’re not in a stressful situation. When you’re in labor, not all medical staff will always have time to break down what’s happening or answer all your questions. Your doula can provide short and relevant interpretations and answer any questions about procedures or drugs.
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9. Help you know what questions to ask.
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Sometimes, you don’t think of the right questions to ask until later. Your doula can help you ask the right questions and get the right information to make the most informed decision.
If this doesn’t work, what will happen next?
How much will this speed up/slow down labor?
Do I need extra monitoring if I have this procedure?
Do I need to do this right now or can I wait?
What are my other options if I say no?
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10. Maintain your space.
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Sometimes, you just need a break from people and time to go into labor land and deal with labor in your own way. Questions, routine exams and instructions from your medical carers may stress you out, so your doula can step in and help you ask for 5 minutes to talk over decisions with your partner, or let your carer know that you want to wait a little longer before changing positions or taking narcotics.
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Susannah is a certified Birth Doula through Childbirth International and the founder of Trimester Talk. With a background in journalism and digital strategy, she combines evidence-based research with real-world knowledge to create accessible content about pregnancy and parenting. She’s a mother of two and stepmother of two more, all of them now teenagers.