Planning a baby shower? It’s important to think about etiquette before the event and make sure guests are clear on what they need to bring or pay for. This is especially important when attending an event at a public establishment, such as a pub or restaurant.
The jury is out on who should pay for a baby shower at a restaurant. Although the hostess usually pays for a baby shower thrown at home, paying for meals, drinks, and entertainment at a restaurant can be much more expensive than the usual potluck or home-cooked meal. On the other hand, guests usually bring gifts, so expect the event to be free in exchange.
Questions to Ask before the Shower
Questions need to be asked before deciding on who pays. A few to think about:
How many people are attending?
How expensive is the restaurant?
Are the guests bringing gifts?
Are the guests close friends and family, or friends and colleagues who may be offended if asked to pay?
Does the restaurant provide group or function bookings, or does each meal need to be purchased at full price?
If paying up front for all the meals at a baby shower is too expensive an option, there are a range of other ways guests can be made to feel welcome and catered for at the event, while cutting down on some of the costs.
Other Ways to Pay
1. Cover just the tip. If you’re in a country where tipping is standard, this can be a reasonable contribution to the event cost.
2. Setup a bar tab for drinks. Instead of paying for meals, offer to pay for drinks instead.
3. Purchase some share plates or appetisers. Whether it’s sandwiches, hot pastries or finger food, this allows guests to choose food that they like, then pay if they wish to purchase further food after.
4. Ask guests to pay for their meal in lieu of gifts. This tradition is common with weddings and is now being used at baby showers, particularly if it’s not the couple’s first child.
5. Pay for the main course then let guests know that other drinks and foods are available to purchase.
Whichever option you choose, make sure to clearly state on the baby shower invites your financial expectations. Let guests know which items will be provided, then list any additional items as optional to purchase at the event.
Susannah is a certified Birth Doula through Childbirth International and the founder of Trimester Talk. With a background in journalism and digital strategy, she combines evidence-based research with real-world knowledge to create accessible content about pregnancy and parenting. She’s a mother of two and stepmother of two more, all of them now teenagers.